be for good!
3 min to read
Why is it important?
Sooner or later, always or just once in a while, each of us wishes to change the world. We all carry around a perfect vision of life inside us, where only acceptable things happen, and all sources of irritation and discomfort simply do not exist.
As we all know “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”. However, there is a simple recipe for building a road of good intentions without it leading to hell; instead of fighting with the bad, mindfully act for something good. In this blog I would like to talk about two categories of signs that indicate being against something “bad” and give advice for switching into a “being for good” mode.
Сategory I signs of being against: gossiping with indignation
We all have experienced them, the endless talks about people and situations that have pushed us out of our comfort zone and caused offense. We resent strongly and loudly for minutes, hours or even days. “He told me, and I told him”, “he is always better than me” and of course “she is such a b@@ch, but look how much weight she gained” are just a few obvious examples.
We gossip about others with such enthusiasm, as if just talking about it could heal all the irritation we feel inside. We consider the sources of irritation as “bad” and act against them. The problem of this approach is that it does not lead to positive changes or constructive solutions. It functions as if we were running in circles inside a room without windows and doors. As if we were running again and again until finally falling, fully exhausted.
Ways of being for: cultivation and support
A far more constructive approach would be to concentrate on our own contributions in any given situation. To just stop gossiping would be a step that deserves respect and admiration. It will economize your energy and you will happily find out that indignation can be reduced without a form of external or internal dialogue (a conversation with a real or imagined person). If you are against someone who belittles others, simply start respecting and supporting people around you. If you are against inequality – treat everyone equally and do it unconditionally. If you feel nervous about someone’s lack of nice personal qualities, be a role model, developing and growing such qualities in yourself.
Category II of being against: feeling intolerance or hatred
We all have been in a situation where we might laugh, comment on, feel it in the stomach or always separate ourselves from objects of our intolerance. “I cannot look at this”, “How can they see them as humans?” – just a couple of classic examples of how our intolerance manifests itself. If intolerance involves considerable emotional energy we start feeling hatred. Hatred causes stress and stress sometimes causes sickness. Needless to say, this also leads to running circles in a room without windows and doors. Do not lock yourself in such a destructive situation!
Ways of being for: say no and build on the other side
We cannot tolerate everything, and some grade of intolerance is a part of human nature. A positive side of intolerance is a constructive disagreement that facilitates discussion, dialogue and a search for new answers. A negative side of intolerance is action against. We act against when we throw an aggressive look at a gay couple on the street or a stone at a woman who does not comply with some religious rules, when we dump paint over someone’s fur coat or ignore voting because “they are all idiots anyway”. The road of acting against quite often leads to hell.
Concentrate on creating your own beautiful relationship, pray and keep your own life in line with the rules you have chosen, take care of as many pets as you can, and vote for the least harmful candidate. It is your choice which road to follow and no one else is responsible for taking that path.
3 things I would like you to remember or to think about after reading this blog:
- If you find yourself gossiping about anything with indignation, stop it immediately. Breathe in. Breathe out. Then invest your time and energy in the cultivation of the things that you feel distract you from sources of indignation.
- If you cannot tolerate something, first of all, try not to become overemotional about it. Deeply breathe in. Deeply breathe out. If you disagree with anything pay great attention to things you agree with.
- And on top of all other advice: be kind, no matter what. Make kindness an ordinary part of your personality (this I promise to cover in one of the next blogs). Your ordinary kindness will enable you to act mindfully without harming others and yourself.